yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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