Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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