It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
