Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
