sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
