we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
