Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
false alarm. still invincible.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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