The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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