she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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