oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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