I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
