You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
