It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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