We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
