We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
