my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
