You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Swine flu. Run for my life!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Randomize
