What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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