her vagine was all disorganized.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
