My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
