so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
