so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
