i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
