508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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