whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
