If i come over, it means nothing
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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