I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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