k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
