just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
