Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
