5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
