My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize