She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
