hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
