I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
