My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize