your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
