You're completely useless in the revolution.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
