So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
