Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
