I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
