ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
