did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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