Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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