We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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