Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
