So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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