I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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