ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Rumble strips road head = magical
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
