he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Quick, to the slutcave!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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