I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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