i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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