On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My cat gives me a boner
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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