Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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