I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
