when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
