5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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