Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
