I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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