I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize