I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
