hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
