We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
