Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
