We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
